


Smoking Cunt

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band), Ziall - Fandom
Genre: AU - unclear/context dynamics, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anal Sex, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gay, Love, M/M, Smut, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, TOV changes, allll the firsts, ziall
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-12
Updated: 2014-12-09
Packaged: 2018-02-20 22:30:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2445500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>so for this one i kind of wrote my own rules as i went ;P who knows maybe this will become a world people commonly write on??? if you wish to use these rules for you own AU then please do! I’d love to read it, no matter what fandom, or slash or whatever! You can message me on Tumblr (ishiphappy.tumblr.com) or email me (ishiphappy@gmail.com) or my ao3 (ishiphappy, which i obvious but yeah felt like putting it) I think I want to call it “AU - Context/Unclear Dynamics” and will be using it often, who knows really…. (that was rhetorical)  This type of AU falls under both categories of AU known as   “Soulmate” and “Identifying Mark.” The POV changes more as a TOV i guess (time of view??? Is TOV a thing???) I plan on hopefully making this one long so who knows what will happen!<br/>Oh and every time change is based from the present, so if i say five days earlier and then say six days earlier, it is only six days earlier, not 11 days earlier. </p><p>I recommend paying special attention to the hinted definition of these words (I would give a small glossary but I am under the fear that it would give away some plot. If there is any plot anyway….) </p><p>Soulmate<br/>Mate<br/>Mark<br/>Unclear<br/>Context</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

now

Niall walked out, happy as could be. He was ecstatic. As always. Niall has always been bubbly, and cute, and faux shy, actually being an easy going young man. More like a toddler in a young man’s body, but not in a pervy way. (ew, gross).

 

one month earlier

He walked out and the smell hit him in the face. Bam. Just like that. He Knew. Smoke? he thought to himself. Sounds lovely. Sarcasm was all that was. He decided long ago that he would say no when his Soulmate asked him. Decided that he owed it to himself not to give in and forgo a little bit of himself for any old bloke who /might/ be his. His Soulmate that is.

 

nineteen years earlier

Yaser blushed through his already flushed face, suddenly snow white to light rosy pink. Trisha had noticed and began yelling, “Yaser, what does it say?!” She rushed before even questioning the gender. She saw in his light pink face that the word must be embarrassing, and by the word she meant /the/ word. The Mark.

“Cu….unt.” Yaser hesitated.

“/what?/“ Trish prodded, it was old tradition for the father to be the first to see the word, and the mother the first to hold the child, and they both discover gender on their own, if the family filled the gender and dom/sub dynamic roles at least. It was odd if there was not but not looked down upon, just not common. In adoption the more “dominant” partner followed the father role and vice versa,  if that was how it was. Other cases they simply both did both, the word revealed by their case manager and then handed off with four hands reaching out to cradle at once.

“Cunt, Trish, our s-baby’s love will say cunt, call them by it, or catch them off guard with such word and have it catch their ear….” Yaser trailed off now listing possible scenarios to himself now in what was barely a mumble. He admired the beautiful baby boy he had participated in making, and was going to participate in raising with all his heart and all his might.

Trish was handed their baby and cooed over her beautiful son after he was spanked.

The parents looked at each other and locked eyes in that moment, they knew the next question already.

“Zayn Javadd Malik.” they say in perfect unison, eyes locked, as they have practiced before. Yaser said it was it was cliche but secretly loved having the intimate moment. They had practiced the girl and boy names the same number of times, now the boy name had been spoken once more and they were thrilled about it. Finally having a boy.

 

eighteen years earlier

“Smoke?” Said Bobby

“is it unclear?” Maura questioned. Children with unclear marks were destined to walk to earth alone, whether they found another lone partner who had an unclear mark, or one that just gave up on finding their match, they were to still walk alone on this earth, it would still be at least internal loneliness for the rest of this life. The thought of what her baby had done in a past life to deserve an unclear mark scared her. He could of, she could of-

“It is very clear Maura, don’t worry about that!” Bobby cleared up quickly before her mind could take her over, he knew what she would think of and where her mind would instinctively go.

“It is good news in-fact.” he cleared his throat.

“smoke? spelled s-m-o-k-e-question mark.” Bobby said calmly and steady, then a huge smirk growing across his face and tears in his eyes. people that were gifted with context of their mark were rare, opposed to just letters, no punctuation. They were like the opposite of an Unclear. The clarity of the Mark meant that whatever or wherever they had previously done or been, they had done something exceptionally good. For instance, an Unclear would have given up and settled down with another and forgotten of their Soulmate in their past life, finished trying, meaning they were not only hurting themselves, but their Soulmate as well. A Context would have settled down in a past life with someone not right for them, but still looked and hoped and stayed happy somehow any way, giving as much love as they could to their Mate (the partner they have that is not their Soulmate) but still giving love to their Soulmate by still trying. Maura started crying happy tears, proud tears. She was so glad that she was able to make such a beautiful baby- boy! it’s a boy!- that was gifted with context.

 

one month earlier

He followed the smell to two attractive boys, I wouldn’t mind being tied to either one of them he thought to himself. He found the dark haired one way more attractive, but he did not let himself tell himself this until he realized the red head wasn’t going to be his.

“light?” Asked the red head. Niall went to reach down to grab his lighter he carried at all times, knowing his lover was going to be a smoker- *thwak* Just then a football came out of no where- wait there was a third guy- and hit him square in the nose, it was /definitely/ going to bleed.

“cunt!” Niall was not done his developing string of insults but they turned to a mumble and he was out cold. Harry’s giggle turned to wide eyes and none of the three boys did anything. They all knew who between the three of them had that word burned into his skin, and he /definitely/ heard the screech with a bit of Irish tune.

“Harry!”  The red head yelled to his boyfriend

“Oops!” He responded “Sorry Lou!”

“Did you just pull that card?” Harry knew Louis could never stay mad at him if he used his Mark as a response, ever. Harry giggled.

Zayn just stood there staring, bringing in the Irish boy. I would not mind being tied to him the rest of my life Zayn thought to himself. He ran to the boy’s side and propped his head up, helping with the now gushing nose as his friends were snogging, (really guys, here?) Niall came through and Zayn beamed. He began thinking to himself, What would I need after that?

“Smoke?” Zayn offered. Niall passed out. Again.

With much cooing and temple rubbing Zayn woke Niall up on his couch, in his flat. Where am I and- Niall lost his train of thought at the perfect boy, who had Niall’s head in his perfect lap by his perfect-

“I’m Zayn”

“What did you say?” Zayn laughed at having to repeat himself.

“I’m Zayn.”

“What /did/ you say?”

“I am /Zayn/ my name is Zayn!” Zayn was frustrated. Niall sighed.

“No Zayn, like the /first/ thing you said to me?” Zayn tensed up

“Smoke, I offered you a smoke.” Zayn realized this may be why Niall passed out. This could be his Mark.

"What was it I said? I usually go straight to calling someone a ..a cunt.” Niall hesitated not knowing if there were any women in the room, not that he really cared.

“Do you know how embarrassing it is, to have to tell people that I have the word /cunt/ permanently etched on my body?” Zayn questioned

Niall immediately sat up between Zayn’s legs and just brought his face so close to Zayn’s he could feel every word on his neck, and chin, and well his-

“A smoke wouldn’t sound more lovely coming out of your mouth even if I wanted one.” Niall whispered. Zayn immediately brought their mouths together in  a passionate kiss, only breaking, with much protest by Niall, to take off his shirt. Niall blushed at this and Zayn noticed.

“Just to show you my Mark.” He cleared up. Niall would not admit that was secretly a little disappointing. Niall brought his fingers to feel the raised skin on the olive boy’s collarbone. Niall quickly lifted his shirt up, not all the way off, to show Zayn his ribs. Zayn immediately threw Niall backward on the couch and kissed Niall’s Mark. Niall was thrilled at this and needed Zayn to know it.

“Please” he moaned. Zayn started repeating the same word.

“Niall.”

“Zayn.” Niall responded, enjoying the way his name came from his lover’s mouth just as much as he enjoyed saying his lover’s name.

Zayn broke the moment to ask Niall out to dinner, and Niall was quick to agree. Harry and Louis started laughing at that, in a fond way, but laughing none the less. Zayn glared and they both shut up, Louis carrying Harry upstairs giving the new lovers a moment alone.

“The punk is Louis and the flower crown wearing freak that hit you is Harry.” Zayn started as they stood up to go. “They met in year 4, can you believe it? they have known since year four!” Niall was shocked that that /actually/ happened. He thought it so cliché, only happening in movies and the cheesy, fluffy fanfic he read on Ao3, like the one where his OTP-

“Where do you want to go?” Zayn interrupted Niall’s soon to be smutty train of thought. Niall mentioned his favorite Italian place and Zayn was quick to agree, not caring if he even liked Italian or whatever, just quick to make Niall happy. Though it turns out Zayn /loved/ Italian and was glad his lover had such great taste, and probably also tasted just as good him-

“Niall James Horan.”

“Zayn Javadd Malik.” he responded “I’m nineteen, and going to Uni for the arts, have three sisters; Safaa, Doniya, Waliyha.”

From there they told each other of their personal lives, achievements, fears, everything they could in the time they had. Zayn looked to his phone and realized it had been hours, now black outside.

“Want to come back to mine?” Zayn asked with a smirk. Niall was immediately the darkest shade of red possible for his pale complexion.

“Just for a cuddle.” Zayn stated, the smirk never vanishing from his face, or the mischievous look in his eyes.


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the smut..da da da da....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is not beta'd and i've never posted smut before so im really nervous about this! *hides under desk* please don't be mean but do give ANY and ALL constructive criticism, recs, idea, affirmations, emojis, kudos, comments, what you had for dinner, you know all that kinda stuff! Thank you for reading, you're a doll!

“Sh-sure.” Niall stuttered out.  
“Where do you live?” Zayn asked.  
“Still with my mum.”  
“I live with, you guessed it, Harry /and/ Louis!” Zayn laughed out, the thought of the four of them living together making him almost hysteric. Niall smiled fondly at Zayn, watching him as he cracked himself up. Zayn was not one to blush, but seeing the way his Niall (thats right, /his/) stared at him, well his face was not the only place blood began to rush.  
“We can… erm.. pick up some stuff from your mum’s place or you could wear my clothes tomorrow.” Zayn offered. “That is, if you want to crash with me, for a cuddle.” Zayn smirked, confident that Niall was going to choose him over his own lonely bed.  
“Hmm…” Niall began scratching his chin, pretending to ponder. “I’m not sure, I might prefer my own cold, lonely, desolate room tonight.” Niall laughs.  
“At least let me get you there.” Zayn says as a statement. Zayn grabs the check and they head out, Zayn opening all the doors and smiling silly to himself.  
“Aren’t you a gentleman.” Niall starts.  
“I’ll be gentle, don’t worry baby, whatever you want.” Zayn responded quickly, without missing a beat. Niall got so red, boiling red and Zayn laughed. Niall directed him to his street and asked Zayn to come in. Zayn was thrilled that Niall wanted him to meet his family, ready to show him off. NIall unlocked the door and Zayn pulled it open. Niall responded by grabbing it shut. Zayn looked confused and began to think about what this could mean, is he embar-  
Zayn’s self guessing thoughts were interrupted by smooth lips on his.  
Niall broke after the short kiss and swung open the door, removing Zayn’s hands from his ribs and waist.  
“I made a friend, one that smokes!” Niall shouted, and Maura ran to the door, hugging Zayn.  
“Doesn’t he have such a filthy mouth!” she more yelled then questioned.  
“I’m glad he does, and I’m also Zayn.” He said  
“Are you wanting to take my baby away from me tonight?” Maura looked with piercing eyes and then laughed.  
“I invited him, though he hasn’t given me a straight answer.” Zayn laughed at his pun in his own head, he thought he was turning into Harry, what with the gay puns and everything.  
“Well whatever you boys decide, and Zayn.” She turned back to him “You seem lovely.” With a polite you too and an I like your home, Niall dragged Zayn up stairs to his room. Niall shoved Zayn over onto his bed and straddled him.  
“You little tease.” was all Zayn could get out before Niall was pressing his lips to Zayn’s. It became a full out snog in seconds and Zayn was all to excited. “Get up and get your toothbrush and get in my car.”  
“Someone’s excited.” Was all Niall sassed up while he grabbed his toothbrush, computer, chargers, his favorite box of snacks; all the basic necessities.  
“No clothes?” Zayn asked, with a smirk growing across his face as they walked down the stairs.  
“Should I go grab some?” Niall asked sarcastically, turning around.  
“No babe, thats quite alright.” zayn laughed.  
They talked about just life and what they want and what they've been given thus far in the car ride to Zayn’s flat. They really just wanted to know more and more about each other, so they asked. They were there soon enough, Zayn giving the grand tour, ending with the bedroom.  
“What about the fridge?” Niall asked. “you didn’t show me the fridge.”  
“Yeah I did, babe, It’s still right in the kitchen, next to the stove.” Zayn half laughed.  
“Oh.” Niall said, slightly embarrassed. “I ment like the inside of the fridge.” Zayn giggled and grabbed his lover’s waist.  
“Okay, well, let’s go look in the fridge.” He said as he lead the younger boy back to his kitchen, their kitchen.  
“I eat a lot.” Niall said, only a little rose on his cheeks.  
“So do I, love.” Niall blushed at the name, wanted to throw himself at his new- his new love.  
“I eat a/lot/, Zaynie.” Niall figured it was his turn to be grossly affectionate.  
“Just be careful of what’s Harry and Louis’, have whatever you want of this stuff.” Zayn gestured to everything that was his. “We can go to the store tomorrow, if you'd like.” Zayn said it in a light hearted way and Niall thought it was endearing, anyone who bought Niall food was endearing, but the fact that it was /Zayn/ just made it so much better. Like it was /his/ Zayn buying him food. How romantic. Niall started thinking about it and felt a familiar pull in his gut. The feeling he had had so many times before, but this time was different. He wanted something different this time. He wanted Zayn’s hands on him, instead of his own. Zayn caught Niall staring and Niall soon realized that he had been caught, going so dark in his adorable, pale, freckled face. Zayn loved how innocent the younger boy in front of him looked, he wanted to wreck him, he wanted to leave little marks all over his body, claiming him, no matter what his Mark did, Zayn thought his bites would serve as a much better way to claim his territory. Suddenly every position possible went through his head. He needed this boy under him as soon as possible. His thoughts were so much dirtier than his Niall’s probably were, but he loved them nonetheless. He would go at Niall's pace, but he /needed/ to be inside Niall right this instance. Niall was thinking about the same kind of things. Niall seemed innocent on the outside, but he knew what he wanted. He learned early on he had a pain kink. He had gotten a small tattoo on his inner thigh when he was fifteen. He was slightly buzzed and decided on a stupid doodle, by the time it was done he was hard and embarrassed. His friend Michael had finished and laughed, then reassured him that it was out of his control and he wasn't freaked out. Niall laughed along with it but became the butt of a thousand jokes about painkink. There was this one that bugged the shit out of-  
Niall lost his train of thought by being crushed up against the kitchen wall, lips pressed hard to his. After a moment of realizing what the fuck was going on, he reciprocated the kiss, hard, and desperate, and sloppy, and needy. They were both suddenly so needy. Niall began grinding into Zayn’s every move, rutting desperately. He took this as an invitation to jack up Niall’s legs around his waist. They stay like that for what felt like hours going from their kisses frantic to professional. They learned and explored every inch of each other’s mouth, learning perfectly how to please the other and earning deep moans at the right angle. Zayn broke the kiss, much to niall’s protest, and started sucking love bites down Niall’s neck. Niall moaned at every bite, which Zayn would suck, bite, lick, and Niall loved it, loved it more than pizza. Oh yeah, definitely more than-  
“Harder.” Niall found himself groaning out, breaking his own train of thought.  
“Babe?” Zayn responded hesitantly, he was already biting down /so/ hard.  
“/Harder/” Was all Niall could do to plead, almost a smutty beg. Zayn did what he was asked and Niall was full on moaning in the kitchen against the wall. Neither of them realized but Louis had tiptoed down the stairs at the sound of Zayn shoving Niall against the wall, Louis wasn't sure if it was a good or bad struggle but as soon as he saw what was going on he ran back up to fetch Harry, both of them now awing over the new lovers, as weird as that is. It is something they would do. Zayn brought his lips back to Niall’s, slowing them down abit and all Niall could do was give his entire self over to Zayn. Louis decided it was time to leave and forcefully dragged Harry back to their room. Zayn soon followed suit and brought all of Niall’s weight on him, carrying him to his room- their room on the same level. Zayn threw Niall on their bed and jumped right on top of him. Niall was fisting his hands up in Zayn’s shirt, anyone else in the world would of been decapitated for crinkling Zayn’s shirt, but it was Niall, and quite frankly, Niall could do whatever he wished to Zayn’s clothes, as long as he was going to get out of them, as long as Zayn got to do anything he wished to Niall’s body, as long as he could-  
“/Zayn/” Niall moaned frustrated that Zayn’s complete and utter attention wasn’t on him.  
“Sunshine.” Was all he could do to say. Niall smiled big at the pet name, all giddy.  
“I- fuck- want you…want you to…” Niall stuttered out. Zayn could come just listening to Niall’s pleas.  
“What baby, you gotta say it.”  
“Want you to fuck me...can you do that babe?” Niall was overwhelmed at the thought, in the best possible way. Zayn smirked at his begging, he loved it.  
“Sorry sunshine.” Zayn started, Niall felt odd and confused at this. “But I /can/ make love to you.” Zayn whispered in his ear. Niall was all giddy and /giggles/ at this.  
“You little cunt!” Niall accused. “You’re such a little shit!” Zayn just responded with a kiss, shutting up the younger boy, secretly loving the way Niall said the word etched deep in his skin. Niall started ripping off Zayn’s clothes and Zayn followed suit with Niall’s. Zayn got up, responded to with a whine from his lover, to find his lube and an old looking condom.  
“I’ve kept it, just in case, I’ve never been with anyone before.”  
“Neither have I.” Was all Niall could say in response. “But I don’t want you to.” Zayn was shocked and almost died, right there, on the spot.  
“I mean I don’t want the condom!” Niall felt terrible for implying that he didn’t want Zayn, not only because Zayn looked crushed, but Niall /really/ wanted Zayn, like really /really/ wanted Zayn. If Zayn was clean than Niall wanted as much of Zayn as possible, no fucking condom in the way. Zayn nodded his head and jumped right back on top of Niall.  
“Okay sunshine, I’m clean.”  
“So am I.” Niall confirmed. With that Zayn took one lubed finger to Niall’s back side. Niall moaned out because Zayn was not giving him enough, not enough all at once.  
“More.” Niall breathed out. Zayn hadn’t been passed the knuckle but was soon catching on to Niall’s apparent pain kink. With both their hard ons rubbing together skin to skin and the prospect that Zayn was about to fill him up, Niall could not wait a second longer.  
“You have quite the pain kink, don’t you sunshine?” Zayn smirked and full on thrusted the rest of the first finger in.  
“/More/.” Was all Niall could offer.  
“You have to tell me what you want baby.” Zayn taunted.  
“More all at once, more of you, please Zayn, /please/.” Niall moaned “I have a pain kink I love it please I want you to give it to me /pleasepleaseplease/!” With that being exactly what Zayn wanted to hear, he thrusted the second finger completely and all at once into Niall, just like he had asked for. Soon he was scissoring the younger boy open and had three fingers in.  
“I’m ready Zayn, /please/” Niall was getting frustrated that he didn’t have the older boy in him yet.  
“Alright sunshine, since you asked so nicely.” Was all Zayn could whisper before he grabbed the back of Niall’s knees and hitched them up over his shoulders. Niall Whimpered at first at the man handling he was receiving, but Zayn knew he loved it, so he kept going. Zayn squirted an obscene amount of the clear lube he had been using by himself on to his hand. He grabbed his own length and started to rub the lube up and down over himself. Zayn loved how the wide-eyed-Niall watched like there was nothing more important, or tantalizing, in the universe. Zayn quickly leaned down to press an unexpected, chaste kiss to Niall’s lips. Niall quickly turned it dirty and pulled Zayn in deeper. Zayn smirked at his all-too-eager lover and pulled back. Niall was fine with the sudden loss of pressure, knowing it would soon return in a much much different manner. Zayn lined himself up with Niall and looked into his blue, blown, dilated, smutty, needy eyes once more for permission, for insurance. Niall nodded his head and closed his eyes, as zayn slowly began to fill Niall up.  
“/fuck/ Niall, you’re /so/ fucking tight.”  
“Zayn,” Niall moaned, Zayn was quickly remembering what exactly Niall had communicated to him, and decided the moan was a plea, a plea for more. Zayn was halfway in, and thrusted once, and bottomed out. Niall moaned as Zayn his his prostate, and Zayn knew it.  
“What was that about, sunshine?” Zayn whispered in Niall’s ear. So far Zayn knew that Niall liked to be hurt, and at least as much liked to be humiliated.  
“Mehhstateerm.” Niall moaned out from under Zayn. Zayn now had his hands on either side of Niall, and Niall had been oh-so-willing to wrap his dainty, slender little legs around Zayn’s waist, off his shoulders the second he could.  
“Sunshine, you know you have to ask for it.”  
“You hit the right spot, Zayn, please do it ag-” Niall’s panting was cut off by Zayn quickly pulling in and out again, hitting just the right spot again and again. They found a steady rhythm, both of them moving in the same way, in sync, skin on skin was all they could hear. Zayn was going to make it a point to always let Niall come first, especially because he’s pretty sure Niall would never want to top. Niall was close and felt the familiar heat in his gut, he knew he was about done.  
“I’m close,” was all Niall could muster. With that Zayn reached one hand down and wrapped it around Niall’s thick cock. He started pumping, using Niall’s pre-cum as lube, until white heat was all over his hand and Niall’s chest. Niall curved his back up in pleasure, unconscious to the fact he was suddenly clenching around Zayn so much tighter, throwing him off the edge as well. They rode out their highs together, Zayn only pulling out when he absolutely needed to, becoming over sensitive. Zayn collapsed by Niall’s side and quickly pulled him in for another impossibly chaste kiss. How in the world he was capable of making something so sweet and innocent after, and even during, something so rough and dirty, was beyond Niall. Honestly, Niall was supposed to be the innocent one. The innocent one with a painkink….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You actually read it! *sloppy wet grandma kiss on cheek* You're a doll and a half!  
> ishiphappy.tumblr! <3  
> let us talk!


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cute morning turns deep and intersting?

The next morning Niall woke up confused. This bed was not his. The heavy arms on his waist weren't either. Or at least that is one way the story could have gone, the story of Zayn and Niall. Though, When Niall awoke he was elated. He knew exactly where he was and who he was. That was a sign. A sign that most people believed in. A sign that Zayn, /his/ Zayn, was really his. Zayn started peppering kisses to the back of Niall's neck.

"Morning, Love." Zayn's voice was muffled from Niall's neck, though Niall heard him perfectly. Niall answered by flipping himself over in his Zayn's firm arms. His protective grip. Niall liked it, liked the thought of Zayn holding him so tight, tight and protective. Niall pressed a kiss to his Zayn's lips, expecting him to keep it chaste like the others. Zayn was not only beautiful and exotic looking, but Niall must guess acting as well. Zayn did not cease to amaze him. Niall can see a long future of being surprised by his Zayn. So domesti-

Niall was cut off as Zayn quickly, with in fleeting moments, turned the heat completely on for their kiss. Suddenly Niall was under Zayn, again. Being put in his subordinate place, again. In a good way. Niall felt, as well as knew, in his mind and in his bones that Zayn would stop if Niall asked. Zayn would only take what Niall granted, and Niall has /definitely/ granted. Their kiss turned out to be as fleeting as unexpected. Or so it seemed. It seemed so because Niall wanted more and could only think about how it wasn't enough, or long enough, so it seemed like it wasn't that much at all. Even though now both of their morning semis were now hard and throbbing.

"I wanted to make you breakfast, but I'm quite shit at cooking really." Niall giggled in response. So domestic. Niall was distracted by the colour contrast of their skins, together, touching one another. Too caught up in the tooth rotting decay of fluff that was happening to him, not some book character, to muster up much else. The thought of them being-

"I love you."  Zayn whispered. There was a shiver down Niall's spin. He loves me? Niall thought.

"Sorry." Zayn muttered and got up quick and slick to leave for the kitchen. There are many things Zayn doesn't know about Niall. Zayn may know what Niall sounds like when he finishes, that very certain moan. One of them specifically, he hopes to hear again. He may know what Niall feels like clenched around him unlike Niall has ever done for or with anyone else before, just Zayn. He may know that Niall's mother is sweet and loves him and that Niall vouches for that. He may know that Niall really really likes cats and that he secretly wants Zayn to get him one as soon as they move in together. He may know he loves Niall.

Though he may know all these things and more, he does not know anywhere near everything, or even a lot about Niall. Zayn suddenly finds himself thinking these things, thinking these things and being filled with a surge of failure. There is no way to know all about his Niall- that's right, /your/ Niall.- though he feels he needs to. He also wants to, too. He wants to keep this boy safe, and loved, and satisfied to the ends of the Earth and even beyond. Zayn knows he loves Niall, and Zayn also knows he doesn't know-

Warm, dainty hands cut him off. Cut off all his thinking. Cut off his worries. Cut off his flooding feelings of failure. Warm dainty fingers fill him with reassurance. With whatever the fuck it may be the isnt quite the opposite of regret, but takes up all the space it would go so there isn't any room for it. Zayn just stood there while Niall brought his fingertips along cascading across his outer forearm, passed his elbow. Half way up his upper arm Niall stopped. Niall lingered. Zayn hoped Niall would always linger. Zayn loved when Niall lingered. Zayn already lov-

Niall wraps his warm dainty arms under and around Zayn's armpits and shoulders, lingering there. Zayn knew that most of these relationships were unhealthy. The ones where they both completely accept that their soulmate /is,/ in fact, their soulmate. Zayn also knew that most /every/ single soulmate relationship was this kind. They imprinted too deeply with one another. They wanted to protect or serve the other. They /knew/ what the other needed, automatically, as well as the other's entire life experience, or so they thought. Or so they functioned out of. They connected so extremely, dangerously, irrevocably, on certain levels, though theirs was complete apathy towards other levels. They did not even address the fact that other things existed before themselves to their partner, and now Zayn knew he had fallen into that.

Zayn knows nothing about Niall's definition of love. Zayn believed every single person has their own definition of love, had there own way of giving and receiving love, a "Love Language" of sorts. Something that many therapists and physiologists ignore in this day and age, this universe of Soulmates and Marks, though Zayn believes. Zayn's definition of love, in the context of saying it verbally or of other tangible ways to express it, is whatever it may mean to to receiver of his love. He always promised himself, and Niall, before he knew Niall was his Niall, that he would not say he loved him until he knew Niall's definition of love. Now Zayn had completely obliterated that. And that was not love.

Niall knew Zayn would only take what he granted. Niall just didn't know how to respond. Niall had had Zayn make love to him. Niall decided that was granting him to tell him he loved him, as long as he did. Niall just did not know how to respond, was all. Niall really really wanted to reciprocate the words, reciprocity being one of the most important things to him with people he deeply cared for. It is just, Niall had a skewed version of love. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still at  
> ishiphappy.tumblr.com  
> *insert cat heart eye emoji*

**Author's Note:**

> ishiphappy.tumblr.com
> 
> ps louis has red hair on EVERY fic of mine EVER  
> k thanks bye


End file.
